As someone who grew up in the hippie town of Eugene, Oregon, I’ve spent a lifetime reviling against anything too woo woo.
Although I fully believe in the power of positive thinking, the idea of ‘manifesting’ positivity and life change curved too much towards my hometown roots and the connotations that came with it felt to me like a lazy person’s excuse not to actually try.
So when Tori Dunlap from the Financial Feminist podcast interviewed Mimi Bouchard to discuss her manifestation-based audio app, ‘Activations’ that was released in 2019, I was dubious. To be fair, Mimi leans away from the term ‘manifestations’ as she is well aware of the unsavory baggage that comes with the word. She prefers to call them ‘activations’, fully acknowledging that positive thinking must be paired with action in order to elicit real life change.
At the core, the focus of this app helps you ‘align your self-image with the person that you want to be’. She outlines two clear steps for achieving the ‘future self’: First is ‘Clarity’: get crystal clear on what it is you want, the person that you want to become. What does that person eat in the morning? What time do they wake up, and what is their morning routine? How does that person carry themselves throughout the day? What kind of job do they have, and how much money do they make? What is a day in the life of this person?
Once you have imagined all the details of this future version of you, the second step is ‘Becoming’. To do this you must start moving through your life as if you are that person right now. There is no need to wait to get that promotion, find that partner or attain the physique you want. The point of the exercise is to embody what it feels like to have achieved these goals and to embrace it with your mind and body, and your new habits will follow.
“A spiritualist will call it the law of attraction. A Christian might call it prayer, an atheist will call it the placebo effect. A scientist will call it quantum physics, and a psychologist will call it the RAS or the placebo effect as well. And all I know is that this work truly works when you commit to it. “
Mimi’s premise is that when you prime your brain for opportunity and abundance, it comes to you. The Reticular Activation System (RAS) also known as the ‘red car theory’, theorizes that when you’re interested in buying a red car, you suddenly notice all the red cars on the road. It’s not that there are more red cars, it’s just that you’re noticing them. Same goes for opportunity when you move through the world from an abundance mindset- you suddenly notice opportunities that you didn’t notice before, and you can act on them. When you operate from a victim mindset, your brain looks for all the ways that life conspires against you, not for you.
Mimi’s personal story is intriguing. She recounts a time when she didn’t have even 9 pounds to her name to catch a cab to her job at a juice bar. Now, not even 10 years later, she is the owner of a multimillion dollar company where she collaborates with artists to create her ‘activations’, no longer DIYing her audios with Garageband on her computer between juggling multiple jobs.
The app offers a 14 day free trial, and I scoffed aloud at the price tag of $189.99 for the full year subscription. I set up multiple calendar reminders and sent myself emails to ensure I cancelled the trial in time so I didn’t end up paying for the insanely expensive subscription.
The ‘activations’ are audios of varying lengths meant to be listened to throughout your day or during different activities. They range from a few minutes long to 30 minutes or longer, with her speaking over music. They are broken into specific categories such as ‘getting ready’, ‘cooking’, ‘workouts’, ‘writing’ and more, but can be played whenever suits you.
Listening to my first activation the next morning, I found the music was nice and I enjoyed the sound of her voice, but I found the content to be a bit woo woo for me. But I kept going and listened to a few more as I made my coffee and packed my lunch.
Before I knew it, I was crying. At times silent tears and other times a bit more. I kept listening. It became a very regular part of my mornings while getting ready for work over the course of the next few weeks.
I felt embarrassed to be listening to it and at the same time very ashamed that I needed to hear what she was saying.
But I did need to hear what what she was saying, or else it wouldn’t have brought up the emotions it drew out of me. It was an extremely uncomfortable realization that the reason I found the app to be so cheesy was because I was struggling with feelings of low self worth and that the positive things she was saying sounded stupid because I didn’t believe them to be true for me. This came as a shock because I generally think of myself as a strong woman with decent confidence. Yet, listening to this audio every morning that reminded me of my strength and capability was poking some serious holes in my own sense of self. I do think I’m capable, don’t I? Then why the fuck am I sobbing into my cottage cheese when she tells me to imagine having everything I’ve ever wanted and that I deserve it?
As someone who has struggled with anxiety all my life, I don’t know what it’s like not to be in constant fear of disappointing someone or doing something wrong.
The most remarkable thing about the app is that it replaced all the anxious thoughts and ruminations I would entertain in the mornings with positive affirmations and visualizations of my ultimate life. I literally didn’t have the time to replay the awkward interaction I had the day before or agonize over the reassuring smile that I didn’t get from a colleague.
Then two week trial was over, and I didn’t subscribe.
Two hundred dollars is a lot for some lady telling me I’m worthy. I shouldn’t need that, I told myself.
But the next morning was lonely. And the morning after that was, too.
I wrestled with the dilemma of subscribing, because I was still embarrassed about using the app, despite being able to fully acknowledge that I felt different, it was helping. From the day I started listening, I’d been waking up at 5:30 on weekdays and exercising before work. My therapist was intrigued, and questioned why I was so adamant about not subscribing when it was so clearly making an impact on my life.
So I did it. I subscribed.
It was a difficult purchase for me, but it shouldn’t have been. I pride myself on investing in my health and wellness, but for whatever reason, just shy of $200 on improving my self worth seemed like a shitty deal at the time. I’m emotional now just thinking about that because it demonstrates that I didn’t value myself enough to believe that the money was being used for a worthy cause.
Within weeks of subscribing, I landed a gig where I negotiated the highest rate I’ve ever gotten for my work. And I know with absolute certainty that I would never have had the confidence to ask for that rate if it were not for Mimi and her Activations.
It’s been over six months since I started and I don’t listen to them everyday anymore, but for a time I was doing it very regularly, multiple recordings 5 days a week. But I think it’s something I can come in and out of because having listened to it so much for many months, it’s given me the confidence and feeling of capability that I needed. I’ve still been working out every morning before work, and I’m finally writing- an endeavor I’ve been intending to do for 3 years.
I urge you to listen to the interview with Mimi. She can explain her method much better than I and her own story is great.
If this sounds at all interesting, I encourage trying the 14 day free trial. There’s nothing to lose and everything to gain. Just make sure to set yourself a reminder to cancel before the trial is up, but I’m pretty confident a year’s subscription will do more good than harm.
Look for the icon below in your App store.
