Growth requires constant upkeep, and it can feel like a lot.
Sometimes it can feel like too much to manage day after day. But to increase our capacity and improve at anything, we have to push a little further than what we’re comfortable with.
I was reminded of this reality the other day when I joined one of my girlfriends for an exercise class. Within minutes of the class beginning, a wave of realization washed over me: my at-home workouts, diligent as I am with their frequency, have not been challenging.
For the next 60 minutes, I dripped sweat. I repeatedly found myself coming out of poses, my legs shaking uncontrollably under the weight of my own body, until I eventually just had to stand up and shake myself out.
I got back to the workout immediately, but was honestly a bit stunned at my own lack of strength.
By the time the class ended, I had experienced a real awakening. I was forced to admit that I’ve been half-assing my workouts at home. And while I am proud of my consistent routine this past year, I’ve been hitting the snooze button more than I’m comfortable with and wasn’t truly doing workouts that were leveling up my ability.
I’ve rarely been working hard enough to break a sweat. A wipe down with a body wipe has felt enough before changing into clothes for work.
The truth is: I am capable of pushing myself so much harder than I have been. Without pushing my limits, I’ve been kneecapping my own progress. I’ve been maintaining, sure—but I haven’t been challenging my body in the way that’s required for growth.
“Comfort maintains. Discomfort transforms.”
The Goldilocks Zone of Growth
It is human nature to stay comfortable and avoid discomfort. Our brains are hard-wired to keep us safe, tucked within the realm of the known. The brain hates uncertainty. It loves consistency. Taking on challenge is not something that comes naturally, which is why staying the same becomes the default for so many of us.
This is exactly why people who excel in anything truly stand out—they intentionally push beyond comfort and stretch the boundaries of what they believe they’re capable of.
A bit of discomfort is required to improve any skill. If something is too easy, you won’t learn. If something is way too hard, that won’t help either; you’ll either hurt yourself, or the experience will be so awful you’ll never want to return.
Pushing yourself just beyond your current ability is the only way to get better at anything. It’s a pseudo-Goldilocks method of growth—the sticky space between where you are and where you could be. It has to be doable-ish, and probably a little uncomfortable, but not impossible.
‘Failure’ Isn’t Failure — It’s Data
Our brains are trying to keep us safe, but that safety can suffocate growth. So how do we continue to develop our skills? Maybe you’ll have a wake-up call like I did in that exercise class. But if I’m being honest, I had known for months that I wasn’t pushing myself.
If you notice this in yourself, try this:
- Extend your run a few more minutes or increase your pace slightly.
- Cook the recipe that feels a bit more complicated.
- Apply for the job that feels out of reach.
- Ask out the person you’ve convinced yourself is “out of your league.”
We are incredibly good at convincing ourselves that certain things aren’t for us—certain experiences, relationships, even clothing or hobbies. These limiting beliefs box us in, shaping what we think we can and cannot do.
But if we shift our mindset even slightly, we widen the door to possibility. Maybe the next level is within reach. We won’t know unless we try. And if we try and don’t get it the first time, then we simply try again.
Some people get lucky and nail things on the first attempt, but those people are the outliers. The rest of us—those who choose to take the shot even when it feels unlikely—end up far closer to the desired outcome than those who never try out of fear of failing.
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
Final Thoughts
Growth is uncomfortable. Growth can be lonely. But if you keep working at it, testing your boundaries, and putting in the time and effort, you will be amazed at what you can produce.
We are far more capable than we give ourselves credit for. We are mentally and physically stronger than we think, and our capacity to grow is limitless.
Don’t be the one to hold yourself back.
